Connecting Up On Our Own—Can We Do It?
On Saturday October 30, 2010 I took a workshop with the medium Roland Comtois. The purpose of the workshop was to help us develop our own mediumistic abilities but, of course, there would be time allotted for channeling by Roland.
My excitement is always great on a day like this. Ever since 1971 when my miraculous healing experience demonstrated to me the presence of invisible things, I have been looking for them. Up until that time I had no belief what-so-ever in anything spiritual, however, when four years of debilitating illness were interrupted and reversed by an energy that I couldn’t see but could definitely feel, I knew that there was more to life than what I could see. Since then, I have been on a quest for spiritual knowledge and understanding, which has only intensified with the passing of my son Daniel at age 22.
In the last 4 decades I have read countless books, taken many courses and sat with wonderful mediums. I was very fortunate to become a member of Jane Roberts’s ESP classes where I was able to witness a demonstration of life after death every week as Seth, the spirit who spoke through Jane, came through and spoke to the students. However, through out all my years of study, one message rings loud and clear to this day and it is this: There is no such thing as death as we think of it. When we die our spirit passes out of our body and moves on into a realm of spirit. We maintain our personality, our memories and our affection. We are ourselves in the most significant of ways. We continue on to learn and grow. There is no end to what we are and there is nothing to fear in dying.
The benefit of my 40+ years of exploration is that by now, I have witnessed so many demonstrations of spirit communication, that I am convinced of the existence of the spirit realm. Of course, this supports me enormously, for by accepting the presence of a spirit realm, I am accepting that there is a place where we go when we pass over. That means that Danny is there, along with the rest of your children. It also means that although there is a significant separation between our children and ourselves at this time, the relationship is not over. Far from it!
I see many bereaved parents who are mourning and missing so terribly that they are barely alive themselves. I am quite certain I would feel that same way if it were not for the benefit I receive from connecting up with Dan, through any means I find open to me. I realize however, that my confidence in Dan’s continued existence is the key that opens the doors to such an exploration. For those who cannot venture there, for whatever reasons, there is little solace or comfort. They live without the physical presence of their child and their beliefs make them unable to sense the spiritual essence of their child. The physical presence they have no choice but to give up, but the spiritual essence, that which inhabited the physical presence that they loved so much, is not far away. As a matter of fact, I think that the separation we experience is more of a perceptual one than an actual distance. I no longer think that the spirit realm is some far away place, but more than likely exists right within our world, just under our perception, invisible to the physical eye, but very real. The problem is that we are so geared to trust the five senses to tell us EVERYTHING about our world that we have made ourselves virtually blind to other ways of experiencing existence. I think it’s almost funny but many people are foolish enough to assume that they know everything that is going on in the universe through their five senses. As a result, they limit themselves from seeking connection to spirit , because they can’t believe that it exists. This is great loss.
So, let’s talk about what helps us to embark on that spiritual quest to connect up with our loved ones in spirit. We’ve already discussed the first key, which is to have an open mind. Without one you might as well forget it. You don’t have to have certainty about it and you probably won’t for a long time if ever, but if you can accept the possibility that your loved one has not been erased from the universe and that he or she has gone on. Even though you can’t say exactly where he or she is, you will have taken the first step.
The next thing that you have to realize is that you will not be able to see or hear your loved one through your physical senses so you need to consider opening up the channels that are receptive. Looking for them in the streets or in a crowd will never bring you anything but pain but through your inner senses you can receive messages, feelings, inspiration and ideas, some of which have been coming to many of you already in your dreams. Many a parent will tell me how they woke up in the morning with a great idea in their head that they intuitively feel was inspired by their child. Another mom related a dream in which she was with her son and felt great peace, even after waking from the dream. Most of us are more reachable to those on the other side when we are asleep, not so locked into our usual perspective, more open-minded.
So where you used to rely solely on your eyes and ears to tell you what existed and what did not, now you will check instead into your feelings and thoughts. Early on after Dan passed I found myself turning to him in my mind and talking to him, asking him what had happened and if he was okay. That was only natural for me, because of my belief that he was now in the realm of spirit and wouldn’t be far away. I always heard an answer but I thought the answers were probably a product of my own mind, my own imagination. If it hadn’t been for the fact that I had already been closely involved with mediums and was able to connect up with Danny through Glenn Dove one week after he passed, I might have gone on thinking that it was coming from my own imagination. On the contrary, however, I was able to get confirmation over and over that what I was hearing was synonymous to what he was saying to the medium. As a result, my confidence in what I heard directly grew.
One of the things that Roland stressed in the workshop on October 30th was that we all call can do this. Glenn Dove has ended many a session by saying, “Simply sit quietly for a few minutes everyday and think of him. Call him in and ask him what you want to ask him. Listen inside your mind and see what comes.” Sometimes people like to set aside a time everyday to sit quietly and connect up. Others find it helpful to keep a journal nearby and write down the impressions and ideas that come to them but it matters not how you do it, only that you do it.
It’s essential to make time for this, to actually practice. Just as time is needed to develop any skill, time is needed to develop your spiritual skills. Again, how you do this isn’t important and ways are as individual as people, but devote some time. Begin by simply sitting quietly and breathing in and out. Focus on the sound and the feeling of the breath as it enters and leaves your nostrils. When you notice that your mind has wandered away from the breath, simply bring your awareness back to your breathing. Time and again your mind will wander off. Time and again you will bring your attention back to breathing. In this way you will be able to slow down your thinking mind a little bit and relax. Once you have done this, talk to your loved one on a mental level. Mentally tell him or her what’s on your mind and how you are feeling. As if they are right there listening, tell them what’s on your heart. That’s the easy part because its easiest enough to know what you are feeling and to mentally express it. Feel the emotion that you want to express. Let it come up. Then mentally ask your loved one if they have any guidance for you and go back into your breathing, in and out. Stay with the breath. See what comes into your mind.
This is a good time to keep a journal in order to write down what comes to mind. Remember that these thoughts are usually heard in your own voice.
It’s important at this point to keep your ego from getting in the way. One of the first things the ego does is judge the information as either sensible or not and at that point you begin censoring everything you hear. Simply write down what you hear in your journal and don’t judge it. This is not about you and what you think, it’s about letting the communication start to flow. The surest way to block the communication is to begin judging and censoring it. Just jot down whatever comes into your mind. Sometimes things make sense at a later time.
You may find yourself dismissing what you hear as mere figments of your imagination. At one point, when I first started getting thoughts that I thought were from Danny, I would instantly discount them as imagination. Then I heard, “Mom, what do you think imagination is? Your imagination pulls in ideas from somewhere. Things don’t just come into your mind from nowhere. Did you ever question where the ideas come from?”
If you allow it to be, this can be a lot of fun. Sometimes I will mentally talk to Dan about something on my mind or heart and then I’ll ask him to give me some ideas by either inspiring my thoughts or giving me a sign. Then I go about my day. In a sense, I send the request off to Dan and the I leave it up to him. It’s pretty awesome what can transpire. For example, you might get in your car, turn on the radio when a song comes on that speaks to you and answers all your questions. It makes you sit back and wonder. Or, you could riding in a taxicab when on an impulse you look out the window just in time to see a restaurant whose name is your child’s name. However, both of these examples are quite simple ones. You can get signs that are far more remarkable than those. But, again, the first rule of the game is that you’ve got to be open-minded about this or you won’t even be in the running.
Be open to your feelings and impulses. Spirit often speaks to us and we don’t hear it so much as we feel it. One of the mothers on the Prayer Team related a story about the strong impulse that came over her to slow down her vehicle while driving on the highway. Unbeknownst to her, up ahead there was an accident in the making and had she not slowed down, it most certainly would have been a fatal one. She intuitively feels that her son was giving her the message to slow down. I don’t doubt it for a minute. Who would care about her well being more?
The dream state is a wonderful area to explore. Those of you who remember your dreams would do well to write them down. Those of you who do not remember your dreams can suggest to yourselves when falling asleep that you will remember your dreams or even a small piece of one. Prior to falling asleep is an excellent time to make suggestions to your subconscious mind and over time the suggestions can begin to take hold. You can suggest that you will have a dream with your child and that you will be able to communicate with him or her in the dream state. Sometimes, even when you don’t consciously remember a dream, you will wake up with the answer to a question, or with a new idea in mind. It’s a very rich area to investigate.
I seek Danny through all of the aforementioned ways: through my inner thoughts, through feelings and impulses, through signs, dreams and of course mediums. None of these things brings Danny back into physical reality, but it allows us to connect up through the spiritual channels that exist between us. It’s certainly not as good as having him here. But I can tell you this: Every time I connect up with Danny, through whatever means, it makes me a little less lonely for him and that’s a tiny piece of solace that I will continue to pursue.